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 Wish You Were Here by Tom Holt
reviewed by Underview
Original appearance: Albedo one issue 17, Autumn 1998
I doubt even Tom Holt can remember how many novels he has written at this stage. Yet again, here is a writer who burst onto the scene with a debut novel (Expecting Someone Taller) which had fans of humorous fantasy shoving it under the noses of unsuspecting friends, telling them it was a must-read. I doubt they bother these days. It's not that Holt has disimproved, rather that he has hit a groove and stayed with it, a bit like Terry Pratchett except, to coin a sporting metaphor, he hasn't quite made it into the premier league. His books sell well and he's got a raft of fans but he's never likely to surprise anyone. Which is a shame. Because if he allowed himself to step away from the endless puns and ridiculously surreal 'funny' situations and the comedically dim heroes and, of course, villains I feel certain he is a good enough writer to do anything he set his mind to.
Unfortunately what he currently sets his mind to is the latest in a stream of same novel/different background scenarios. This one, Wish You Were Here, involves a magical lake which grants people their heart's desire when they jump into it. Some people go there on purpose because they've heard of its powers. Like Wesley Higgins from Birmingham who craves heroic adventure; others stumble upon it and merely fall in, being granted the desire uppermost in their minds as they break the water's surface, which brings us to cut-throat lawyer Calvin Dieb who came to sell the lake as a property deal and now would like nothing more than to find his car keys. Or there's unattractive Janis who just wants men to desire her. And then there's the lake's staff whose job it is to deliver on these dreams: dead Red Indians, dead Vikings (complete with boat which sinks every few minutes, re-enacting their original demise), smugglers, animals and spirits.
As with just about every 'funny fantasy' novel published in the past few years this is thoroughly predictable fare. Outlandish characters, wildly ridiculous plot and a pinch of magic do not add up to a novel, or even a story. I'm certain Holt's fans find this thoroughly acceptable and probably thrive on the predictability, but I doubt Wish You Were Here will add to his fan base. It has plenty of good elements and some imaginative uses of the furniture of the genre but the novel badly needs a strong and likeable central character. There are just too many characters calling out to us, no begging, us to like them and to sympathise with their predicaments. Even the scum-sucking lawyer isn't truly despicable. In the end Holt even tries for a little sympathy for him. Though not very hard. And that's really the problem with the entire piece. Holt just doesn't try very hard at anything in it..
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